Infertility and IVF
‘We didn’t know what we were in for, however after trying for 4 years without success, my mother saw an advertisement at KK Hospital for IVF and encouraged the both of us to check it out and so we did. At first try, we got pregnant!’
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‘It was supposed to be an IVF baby however we managed to conceive naturally for the first accidentally. For the second, it’s a donor’s egg and the same if we decide to have a third. Choosing a donor was difficult but it had to be done.’
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After 3 miscarriages, 14 inseminations, and 3 IVFs later, she finally got pregnant!
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‘After the first miscarriage, I opted for a D&C. Little did I know what that would have resulted in - 8 surgeries later we finally found the right specialist Doctor in Sydney and flew down for a final surgery for Asherman’s syndrome. 5 IVFs later, we were still not pregnant. It was the pandemic lock-down that finally got us relaxed and pregnant. We have been waiting for this baby for a long time!’
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They wanted a large family so the plan was to get pregnant every 2 years. However that changed with her one IVF pregnancy when they lost their baby to preclampsia when she was 5 months pregnant. ‘She went into a place so dark we all did not know how to pull her out of it’, recalled her husband.
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I was once at a women’s writer retreat in Fiji during which I offered belly painting to whoever who wanted it. One belly I painted carried 8 pregnancies and birthed 4. Others had miscarriages, and some just never had a chance to fully feel what it is like to be pregnant. Every belly tells a story however until you find out, you never truly know what she has gone through or is still going through just to have a baby and build a family.
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IVF was never on my cards - I personally tend to lean towards whatever is ‘natural’ and avoid ‘medical’ whenever possible. However when it takes so long to finally get pregnant, and then miscarry, your perspective changes. On top of that, my husband felt that it was important that we gave it all we got, including IVF.
We were going through a period were we both felt like the walls were closing in on us - weary from both the pandemic and the lack of hope of whats beyond so after hearing repeated positive & success stories of IVF all around us, it was on impulse that we decided to take the plunge. As Singapore does not allow pre-implantation genetic testing (PGS), traveling back to Australia was no longer an option given that the borders were closed, we had to look further. The same day we had an online appointment with our IVF Doctor in the US, we booked our flights and left 2 weeks later for a 6 week IVF vacation.
Like one of my clients, despite all the research, we had no idea what we were in for! Fortunately I had the right resources to secure everything I needed in 24 hours and we embarked on our ‘hybrid’ follicle induction to arrive in time in the US for follicle extraction. We hit the ground running with 20 follicles extracted after daily jabs into my belly. First win!
We had to negotiate to shorten the IVF process from 3 to 2 cycles and as my uterus and hormonal levels were looking good, prep for frozen egg transfer (FET) was scheduled for the next cycle. During this time, there were many difficult decisions to be made. As we managed to have 10 fertilized embryos, our IVF Doctor felt that we should consider a fresh embryo transfer instead and he would be keen to implant 4-6 fertilized embryos. As we were very clear that our objectives were to avoid another miscarriage and not have twins, we went ahead as planned with PGS testing. Only 8 made it to PGS testing and finally when we got the results 2 weeks later, there was only one embryo left brimming with life.
Whilst I was first resistant to the idea of taking 6-8 weeks away from work - it was the best thing ever. We were so busy traveling in-between Doctor’s appointments, enjoying our ‘freedom’ during the pandemic and busy ‘living’ every day to its fullest, it was effortless to forget about the stresses that came with the IVF journey. The time away gave us space, perspective and made up for the dreadful two years spent cycling through the pandemic, pregnancies and miscarriages. It revitalised us.
It was also a different ball game to ‘play God’ with all the choices one could make with IVF, however we went ahead with the FET with the one remaining embryo. And just when you think you are done with IVF, you find yourself at the beginning of what no one really talks about in the IVF journey - first trimester of pregnancy.
