Before we tried to conceive, I already knew that I am going to try for a drug free vbac. The birthing of Edward went totally out of our control and I ended up with an emergency c-section. Till today, we still wonder if the surgery was really necessary. So while trying to conceive, I did my homework and read up lots on vbac and drug free birth. I also changed doctors so that I can be sure I won't be whipped into the operating theater again for no good reasons or explanation.

Chanced upon Ginny's website and was very undecided on whether to engage a doula to help. Read on her website about Hypnobirthing but did not give it much thought. In November, I read a Hypnobirthing story on Straits Times and got curious about it. Still not much interest in it.

As my delivery date got closer, I started to panic. Can I really do a vbac? What if things go wrong. I think I have a high tolerance level for pain, but what happens if I cannot handle it? What happens if Kevin cannot support me during labour the way I need? So, the thought of engaging a doula surfaced again. In mid December, I finally decided to do something and emailed Ginny. We spoke on the phone a couple of times and we finally decided to engage her as our doula. Ginny also recommended we sign up for the Hypnobirthing package as from her experience, it works a lot better than active birth. I said ok since I am just determined to get my drug free vbac.

As I only have less than a month before my due date, we had to opt for private classes. This suits me fine as I'm way too big and heavy to want to go to some place to attend the classes. So, class started and Ginny taught us relaxation techniques used for hypnobirthing which we HAVE TO practise. Oh my.. With desperately trying to close off my project before maternity leave starts, late night conference calls and a hyperactive toddler in the house, there is no way I can practise. I ended up listening to the affirmation CD during the day non stop and did major catch up practise on the relaxation techniques and listen to the Rainbow CD non stop during the 1 extra week vacation time I took before my EDD. I guess that helped!

12 January 2006

With 2 more days left before my departure and tons of things to wrap with on my project, I'm in panic mode. However, since the morning, I have been having constant menstrual like cramps. Also felt a lot of pressure down under. Hmm, wonder if the baby has dropped or labour is starting.. SMS'd Ginny to check. She told me to just observe and some women do get cramps before labour. Ok, I will ignore it for the time being and check with Dr Paul Tseng tomorrow during my visit.

20 January 2006

Felt really off today, nausea, cramps, Braxton Hicks, etc. Also getting very impatient with not knowing. Just visited Dr Paul Tseng yesterday and since he lets nature take its course, he doesn't do VE. Very different from my previous doctor but at this point, I'm not sure if I appreciate the suspense.

24 January 2006

4+ - 5 in the morning

Was in dreamland when I heard Edward crying and shouting for me. Got myself to his room and laid down with him. Hmm.. Contractions are coming and seems different from Braxton Hicks. I tried the breathing techniques and tried to go back into dreamland but failed. Went back into our room and lied down, continuing with the breathing. Contractions are getting strong but still no pain. Weird BH? Really not sure.

6+ am
Woke Kevin up and told him I'm having contractions and this maybe it? We still have not packed our hospital bag, so told him to get up and do that. I went to the bathroom and there, a show! Ok.. I guess this is really it. During the antenatal classes, I told Ginny I would like to go to the hospital when I'm about 6cm dilated. She told us the signs to look out for but they were not present! Somehow, the discussion of whether we should go to the hospital never came up, we just got up and got ready to leave. Called Ginny and asked her to meet us at Thomson. Also sent email to colleagues telling them I'm going to disappear for a couple of days from email.

Since I wasn't in a lot of pain, just some discomfort with the contractions, we decided to wait a little more so that we can say goodbye to Edward. I was walking around the house and mother-in-law was commenting how I didn't look like I was in labour. She kept rushing us to get to the hospital but I thought we still have time.. no pain yet.

Finally, Edward woke up. We said bye bye to him and left. I had a huge contraction just when we were about to reach the car. That was so big I had to stop and lean against the wall. Now, what is happening? Where is the pain? Got into the car and sat on this huge pile of towel that Kevin put on - he didn't want to destroy his precious leather seat if my waterbag breaks. We headed for TMC.. Contractions were getting closer and I started to wonder if we should have asked Ginny to come to the house instead of meeting us at TMC. What happens if half way through the journey, the pain starts and I hit Kevin? Luckily, nothing like that happened. We arrived at TMC safe and sound except that my waterbag burst the minute he turned into TMC carpark. Luckily we had those towels as that's a lot of water! Had a contraction when I was just about to get out of the car. The parking attendant wanted to get a wheelchair for me but nope, no thanks!

Went to the reception area and was directed to the delivery ward. I'm assigned to room 10. The nurse told Kevin to wait there and brought me to the bathroom - asked me to clear my bladder and change into hospital gown. Contractions are quite close and getting more uncomfortable and I feel like I'm a leaking tap with water gushing out. I always thought it would be a big gush and that's it - boy am I wrong!

Walked back to room 10 and Ginny has arrived. Got onto the bed and the fetal monitor was put in place. Kevin left to get registration done. Dr Tseng came in shortly and wanted to do a VE - I'm 8cm dilated! I am really surprised as that was the number I told Kevin jokingly when I had that huge contraction before we got to the car! Now this is getting creepy.

From here on, I kind of lost track of time. It's just waves after waves of contractions. I fell asleep quite a couple of times between contractions. At some point, the nurse came in and asked if she could do another VE. I think it was time for her to change shift? Anyway, I was curious, so I agreed to it. 10cm dilated but baby is still high? Or something like that. Ginny suggested that I try the birth stool and I was ok with that. However, the contractions were coming so close that I just did not want to get off the bed. After a while, I tool a deep breath and went for the birth stool. It was waves after waves of contractions again. Kevin was supporting me during the contractions but at one point, I suddenly noticed him falling asleep! Now.. that made me mad. So when the next wave of contraction came, I bite into him.. hahaha! That woke him up.

After some time, I was getting uncomfortable on the birth stool as my back really hurt. So went back onto the bed. Another nurse came in, wanted to do a VE without even asking. Luckily Ginny and Kevin caught that and stopped her. I rejected the VE as I was already 10cm dilated, what more does she want? She also suggested that I change to a side lying position to help with the labour and wanted me to push or hold my breath or something. After she left the room, Ginny explained that if we don't do something ourselves, the nurse will probably come in and start to meddle as my second stage labour is too long for their comfort. I agreed to switch to the side lying position, after all, this is the image I had when I was doing my practise sessions. The image keeps flashing in my head during labour but I was just too lazy to change. :P

Once I changed position, things progressed very fast. After a few more contractions, the urge to push became very strong and I could feel my baby coming out. Ginny said the baby is crowning and pressed the bell for help. No response! She told me try not to push and she will run out to get the nurse. She came back and all of a sudden, the room is full of activities and people. Gina told me to pant or blow so that I can stretch my perineum. I was wondering where is my doctor! I think one of the nurses told me not to push but how? Finally Dr Tseng came and he only had time to put on his boots. I think Claire was born with just one or two pushes after Dr Tseng came in.

Claire was born at 5:05pm weighing 4.01kg. No wonder it took so long, she is big! She was passed to me almost immediately and I tried to feed her. Dr Tseng waited for the cord to stop pulsating and then guided Kevin to cut it. After a while, my placenta came out without me even doing much. Saw the placenta and we started talking about placenta eating - gross!

Overall, I am very happy with my birth experience. It's been almost 2 months now and I am still very amazed by the fact that I was 8cm dilated when we got to the hospital - without feeling anything. A little disappointed that I was not able to test my pain threshold as there wasn't really much pain but hey, I'm not going to complain about that. Compared to my birth of Edward, we are definitely in more control of what is happening. I wish we had learnt of Doula services earlier but like what Ginny said, we just have to come to terms with that c-section. At least I got to experience a natural birth once.

Many thanks to Ginny and Dr Tseng for all the support and making my drug free vbac a success. I don't think I will have another chance at hypnobirthing but will definitely be preaching about it.